Shows and Toes and Shoes, Oh My!

I’m going to attempt to explain the allure of EDM (Electronic Dance Music) to non-believers.

I want you to try and think about when you’ve had a really good, really intense emotion or feeling. Like when all you need is a hug and you finally get enveloped in someone’s arms and you feel warm all over. Or when the person you like touches you and the hair on your arms stands up and your whole body is filled with the most invigorating chill. Or when its 90 degrees on the perfect summer day and you finally jump in the water and you’re consumed by the intense feeling of cool refreshment. Or when you play with a baby tiger or a litter of puppies and you’re so overwhelmed with cuteness all you can do is laugh and squeeze the baby animals.

Now mix all those feelings together and add the confusion of being blinded by strobes and the excitement of being mesmerized by colored lights; with the feeling of the bass vibrating your rib cage and the rhythm guiding your body in movement.

Photo cred: Alex Pierson

For all you Beethovens out there it’s like a crescendo but for the whole song. Or for you literary nerds, its the climax of the story for half the book followed by the falling action which then leads to another, more shocking climax.

I think it was Bob Marley who said “when music hits you you feel no pain” and if you’ve ever been punched in the face by a beat dropping, you’d know exactly what he means. If you pay close enough attention you really can feel music. Especially EDM. Those sounds are designed to flow through you, and cause such an overwhelming sensation that you just have to jump and wave your arms in the air like a gorilla during mating season to express everything you’re feeling.

That being said, that same euphoria can be stripped away from you in a split second when Shrek fee-fi-fo-fums all over your baby toe.

I think EDM shows should have the same kind of height requirements they have on rides at theme parks, only if you’re “this tall” you can’t come in.

The ogres are always the most unsteady at these concerts and they’re always the ones to put the drunk girls on their shoulders right in front of me so that I now have Jack in the beanstalk trampling my feet while his tramp uses my head as a stool. It’s why I think banning Hagrid from these shows all together is probably the best move. Or at least give him a special “people over a thousand feet tall” roped off area.

With such danger afoot it is impossible to find the right pair of shoes to wear. Without a quality pair of steel toed boots consider yourself done for. Plus with style evolving into such weirdness these days I bet it wouldn’t even be that off-putting to show up in a pair – if they even make those for women… I wore a pair of pink leopard print canvas sneaks to Steve Aoki this weekend, which I thought were perfectly badass, but as it turns out with Lurch in the crowd they were insufficient. Since I’m not ready to fully take the plunge into “manual labor chic” I settled to purchase a cool pair of colored high tops from Urban Outfitters.

Fresh Kick

I’ve been meaning to make the switch into being cool enough to pull them off for some time now, and I think I’m one sad toe past being overdue for a style upgrade. Hopefully, these will add an extra layer of safety while still being fresh ta death.