Ever Since Graduation, I’ve Been Slowly Dying…

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With graduation season in full swing a lot has been on my mind. Partly, that I’ve been a big sassy real-worlder for a whole wide year already; but mostly, that with that year came a level of softness I thought I could never attain.

Thirsty Thursday used to mean high heels, short skirts and Long Island ice tea specials at Monkey bar, followed by a Celeste pizza for one in bed (10 for $10 at the local supermarket YOLO) and a truly sinister Friday morning. Now I lose my balance in my heels when I’m sober and all Thirsty Thursday means is that I’m dehydrated from hot yoga and I’m shopping online for clothes I could only afford if someone was paying me to blog.

Oh how the mighty hath fallen.

A caramel macchiato does now what a 20mg a day Adderall prescription did just 12 short months ago. I don’t even know what would happen if I popped one of those suckers in this condition. I think my heart would explode. Is this what old people feel like when they reminisce about how it used to be easy to walk? If this is to continue my future looks very, very grim.

“Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing to do with it.” – W. Somerset Maugham

Easy for you to say W. I’m 23 and I have lower back pain.

Peter Pan said it was supposed to be an adventure. Idiot. What are we doing listening to him anyway? He also thought he could be a kid forever.

Thanks a lot Peter.